A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home….

It was already 6:30 and Jimmy better be up to get ready for school. “Jimmy, it’s time to wake up.” “I don’t want to wake up.” “You have to go to school.”…

Little boy asks his dad for a new bike. His dad says, ‘Gee son. I’m sorry but we have a $40,000 a year mortgage and your mom just lost her job so…

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After…

As a butcher is shooing away a dog from his shop, he sees a $10 bill and a note in his mouth, reading: “5 lamb chops, please.” Amazed, he takes the money,…

A pastor taught his parrot to recite the Lord’s Prayer when he pulled a string on the parrot’s right leg, and to recite the 23rd psalm when he pulls a string on…

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring… The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about…

He used to sit on the chair, read the Wall Street Journal, and the shoeshine man gave his shoes a shiny, great look. One morning, the shoeshine man asks the CEO: “What…

“Poor old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they…

The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran…

I used to work in a pub next to a hospital and this guy walked in one day with his hospital gown on and holding a drip on a stand that was…

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500…