I used to work in a pub next to a hospital and this guy walked in one day with his hospital gown on and holding a drip on a stand that was…
Category: Jokes
A Tight Irishman
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500…
Grab Your Jacket
One day there was that thirsty man and and his wife. They spent their whole afternoon in their living room. And then the man says to his wife, “Grab your jacket I’m…
A Fair Answer
A man goes into a bar with his small pet newt called Tiny. “A pint for me and a half for Tiny, please,” he says to the landlord. The landlord asks, “Why…
You Can’t Eat It Here
Two lawyers walk into a pub. They were quite hungry after a long day. So they order a couple of drinks and take their sandwiches out of their briefcases and them they…
Can I Take The Dog For a Walk
A little girl asks her mum, ‘Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?’ Her mum replies ‘No, because she is in heat.’ ‘What does that mean?’ asked…
I Need Five Grand
A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000….
The Priest With His New Horse
A priest wants to buy a horse He goes to the horse seller and asks him if he has a good horse for him. The horse seller says:“Yes, I have the perfect…
What About The Penguin?
Two friends meet and one of them has a penguin… Friend 1: My God it’s been too long since we’ve seen each other brother how are you? Friend 2: I know its…
He Deserves A Raise
One day the boss of the company calls in his best worker for a performance evaluation. Everything goes well but at the end of the meeting, the worker says “I think you…
Brutal Honesty…
How would you describe me? Wife: “How would you describe me?” Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.” Wife: “What does that mean?” Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.” Wife: “Aw, thank you,…
She’s Cruel
One day a couple was in a hurry to take a cab. Finally they found a taxi. The wife asks the taxi driver: “How much does it cost to take me to…