A nun was sitting at the airport, waiting for her flight to Chicago. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune and thought…
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army…
A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn’t improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra,…
One day Billy called the Little Johnny. Billy: I’m in big trouble! Johnny: Why is that? Billy: I saw a mouse in my house! Johnny: Oh, well, all you need to do…
A drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, “What do you have in there, pal?” “A mongoose.” “What…
This blonde heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note he felt…
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they…
A police officer pulls a man over for speeding. As the officer approaches the car he can see that the man is very anxious about something. “Good afternoon Sir. Do you know…
A man is stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day he sees a beautiful woman in a swimsuit come ashore. She says to him, “Tell me, how long has…
A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbour owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?” “Do you have any proof he owes you the…
A man walks pass a beggar on the corner of the street where he works. The beggar holds out his one hand and the man drops a coin into his hand. One…
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It…