A kid gave his teacher a blank piece of paper. Teacher: What is this? Kid: It’s a drawing of a cow eating grass. Teacher: (looked at the paper) Where’s the grass? Kid:…
Shopping Couple
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-mart. The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in their cart. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the…
The Lucky Sheriff
One day, two deputies in the Sheriff’s Office answered an emergency call at a farmhouse. When they walked in, they found the nude bodies of a man and a woman in the…
The Man Of His House
A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, ‘You Can Be The MAN of Your House.’ He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, ‘From now on, you…
The Scientist and His Wife
A scholar was preparing to take the civil examinations. His wife was very puzzled by his constant worrying. “Look at you, you worthless wretch,” she said. “You probably think that it’s more…
This Carpenter is Right
A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed. The lawyer for the defendant was trying to discredit him and asked him how far away he was from the accident….
A Wise Plumber
A plumber attended to a leaking faucet at the neurosurgeon’s house. After a two-minute job the plumber demanded $150. The neurosurgeon exclaimed, ‘I don’t charge this amount even though I am a…
Good Dog
There was a husband who was in the habit of taking the family dog for a nice long walk each evening. It was good exercise for both of them, his wife felt,…
A Good Question for These Three Blondes
Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, “So y’all want to…
Lucy And The Female Doctor
Lucy was having a lovely time shopping. In the first shop she visited, she found some perfect shoes and, in the second, a beautiful dress. Her mobile rang. It was a female…
The Best Weight Loss Program
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19…
It’s a Trap, Sir
In the old days the English and Scottish armies used to fight by gathering their armies on top of the hills and at day break they would run down the hillside into…