A wife decides to take her husband, James, to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, James! How ya doin’?” His wife is…
All Jokes
A monocle walks into a bar. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. “Sorry, buddy,…
A bloke knocks off and heads home. It’s a foul night, with rain bucketing down, lightning flashing and thunder crashing. He sees a woman on the side of the road, bonnet up,…
Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs,…
My husband and i were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theatre. Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a ‘night light’ and…
Morty and Selma, an elderly couple, were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer said, “Ma’am did you know you…
A little girl named Mary was struggling with her art assignment. While the rest of the children handed in beautiful drawings, Mary turned in a blank piece of paper. Confused, the teacher…
Five old men are playing poker one night, when Andy loses $1000 on a single hand, stands up, clutches his chest and drops dead on the floor. The other four stand up,…
Once upon a time Nasa decided to send three astronauts to space for three years. NASA allowed each of them to take 95 kilos of baggage each. The first astronaut decided to…
A doctor and a chartered accountant were at a party. They were enjoying a couple of drinks and some good conversation when the doctor asked, “How do I manage this delicate issue…
Always self-conscious of his lack of ears, whenever Andy Brown would interview a future employee, he would ask him, “What do you notice different about me?” If the employee would mention his…
A guy is seeking enlightenment and goes to a monastery and speaks to the head monk. The monk says, “You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words…