Always self-conscious of his lack of ears, whenever Andy Brown would interview a future employee, he would ask him, “What do you notice different about me?” If the employee would mention his…
The Hard Path Of Enlightenment
A guy is seeking enlightenment and goes to a monastery and speaks to the head monk. The monk says, “You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words…
The Spoiled Parrot!
A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again….
Just Be Quiet!
A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool…
The Shoe Repair
A man and his wife were cleaning out their attic when the man found a shoe repair stub in the pocket of an old jacket. “Hey – check this out,” he said…
You Have Just Won $5,000
A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition. “What are you going to…
Sorry But…
A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town. Things were getting hot…
I Need A Donkey!
A Cajun named Jean Paul moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the…
I Love You, Darling!
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s party. He is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how…
She’s a Racehorse
A husband was sitting on the sofa one afternoon when his wife came up behind him and whacked him on the head. The husband asked ‘What the hell was that for?’ The…
A Thermos Flask
A blonde and a brunette are taking a break. The brunette pulls out a thermos and starts to sip coffee while eating her lunch. The blonde asks what’s up with the funny…
Just To Make My Woman Happy
For the past 20 years my wife has been complaining about me not putting the cap back on the toothpaste. Last anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my…