An elderly couple died in their sleep after long lives and found themselves in heaven. After greeting them, Saint Peter took them on a tour of their new environment. He said, “Here…
After a tiring day, a young lady settled down in her local train seat and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her,…
One evening Father passed his daughter’s bedroom and heard her saying her prayers. Smiling to himself, he stopped to listen and heard her say, “God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, God bless…
The little boy’s mother had been away for a week’s conference and on returning she asked her son how he’d been. “It was OK,” said Ben, “except there was dreadful thunder and…
Every night, Harry goes out drinking. And every night, his wife, Louise, yells at him. One day, one of Louise’s friends suggests that she try a different tack. “Welcome him home with…
A Texan was on a flight and began bragging about the property that he owned. “How much property do you own?” asked the man sitting next to him. “Forty acres,” answered the…
A man and a parrot find themselves sitting next to each other on a plane. As the stewardess comes along, the man asks for a coffee, at which point the parrot shouts,…
Finding himself lost, a motorist stops to ask a farmer for directions and as they are talking he notices a pig with a wooden leg. “Why’s that pig got a wooden leg?”…
The young girl arrived for an interview to become a trainee executive. “So, Miss Brightly, what are your qualifications?” “Well I graduated from Oxford with a first-class honours degree, having achieved the…
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and…
1960’s arithmetic test: A logger cuts and sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is four fifths of that amount. What is his profit? 1970’s new-math test: A…
A blonde was sitting down in a bar one day next to a red-head. Both of them were sitting there having a good time and then the news turned on. The woman…