Joke Book

Three buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, “When you’re in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what…

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are complete write-offs, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl…

A bartender is waiting for closing time at his pub so he can lock up, and go home. It’s a slow night and he has no customers. He hears a light knock…

A blonde girl was going on her first date and her grandmother gave her some advice: “The boy may try to kiss you -it will feel good, but don’t do it. He…

A blonde is going door to door trying to find some paying work She knocks on one door and an older man opens it up. “Hey mister, do you have any odd…

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions… Officer: What’s 2+2? Blonde: Ummmmm… 4! Officer: What’s the square root of…

The blond says: “Doctor, doctor, look! Anywhere I touch myself it hurts! She continues to touch random places on her body she even pokes the doctor’s nose and still she lets out…

A blonde guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He…

One day there were three astronauts a blonde, brunnete, and a redhead eating together. The brunette said, “Hey you guys we were the first people in outer space we should be proud…

A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn’t find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. “235,000…

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news…

A cop saw a young blonde woman down on her knees under a street lamp. “Can I help you?” he asked. Replied the woman, “I dropped my diamond ring and I’m looking…