While Mark was shopping for pet supplies, one of the salespeople came running up to him. “Mark! Mark! I just saw someone driving off with your BMW!” “Dear God! Did you try…

Just before their first long deployment two navy buddies were talking about the stress of leaving their families. A senior officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard the conversation and offered the…

Jill was discussing the various aspects and possible outcome of the insurance policy with the man at the Insurance Agency. During the discussion, she asked, “Suppose I take the life insurance for…

A moron tripped on the stairs and broke his leg. The doctor put a cast on it and warned that he wasn’t to use the stairs until the cast came off. Four…

When a man’s printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop, where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the…

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a martini to the amazement of the bartender. When the bartender gives the gorilla the martini, he’s further surprised to see that the ape…

An irate customer, calling the newspaper offices, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was. “Ma’am,” said the employee, “Today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until Sunday.” There…

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in sexy lingerie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.” So he tied her…

A farmer, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel’s clerk about the time of meals. “Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to…

A young man bought an expensive piece of jewellery as a present for his girlfriend. “Don’t you want her name engraved on it?” asked the clerk. The young man thought for a…

A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,…

A surgeon goes to return some books he borrowed from the library. The librarian quips after checking the books. “Sir, your books are always returned with the last page missing in every…