One day there was that thirsty man and and his wife. They spent their whole afternoon in their living room. And then the man says to his wife, “Grab your jacket I’m…

A man goes into a bar with his small pet newt called Tiny. “A pint for me and a half for Tiny, please,” he says to the landlord. The landlord asks, “Why…

Two lawyers walk into a pub. They were quite hungry after a long day. So they order a couple of drinks and take their sandwiches out of their briefcases and them they…

A little girl asks her mum, ‘Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?’ Her mum replies ‘No, because she is in heat.’ ‘What does that mean?’ asked…

A businessman walked into a New York City bank and asked for the loan officer. He said he was going to Europe on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000….

A priest wants to buy a horse He goes to the horse seller and asks him if he has a good horse for him. The horse seller says:“Yes, I have the perfect…

Two friends meet and one of them has a penguin… Friend 1: My God it’s been too long since we’ve seen each other brother how are you? Friend 2: I know its…

One day the boss of the company calls in his best worker for a performance evaluation. Everything goes well but at the end of the meeting, the worker says “I think you…

How would you describe me? Wife: “How would you describe me?” Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.” Wife: “What does that mean?” Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.” Wife: “Aw, thank you,…

One day a couple was in a hurry to take a cab. Finally they found a taxi. The wife asks the taxi driver: “How much does it cost to take me to…

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to…

A policeman sees a little girl riding her bike and says, “Did Santa get you that?” “Yes,” replies the little girl. “Well,” says the policeman, “tell Santa to put a reflector light…