Two friends meet and one of them has a penguin… Friend 1: My God it’s been too long since we’ve seen each other brother how are you? Friend 2: I know its…
One day the boss of the company calls in his best worker for a performance evaluation. Everything goes well but at the end of the meeting, the worker says “I think you…
How would you describe me? Wife: “How would you describe me?” Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.” Wife: “What does that mean?” Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.” Wife: “Aw, thank you,…
One day a couple was in a hurry to take a cab. Finally they found a taxi. The wife asks the taxi driver: “How much does it cost to take me to…
Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to…
A policeman sees a little girl riding her bike and says, “Did Santa get you that?” “Yes,” replies the little girl. “Well,” says the policeman, “tell Santa to put a reflector light…
A girl takes her big fat cat to the vet. “My cat is very fat,” she says. “Alright,” says the vet. “I will look at him.” The vet picks up the cat…
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat beside another guy. “What are you drinking?”, he asked. “Magic beer”, said the second man. “Oh yeah?”, says the first guy….
One day I was sitting alone in my house, watching TV and enjoying my cold beer. A few minutes later the police came to my house holding a picture of my wife….
He said, “Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something’s wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you’ll hear it!” The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man’s thigh only…
A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution “this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before”. So the lion starts rushing…
Little Johnny runs into the bathroom just as his mother is stepping out of the shower and curiously points to her triangle of hair and asks: “Mommy what’s that?” somewhat flustered she…