In this life I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear. When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for…
A man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after hour for his case to…
1) Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us b*tching about you…
“The neighbors hate us.” “Why?” “Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?” “Yeah, that was really fun.” “And remember how the house up the…
Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, “Do you think there’s baseball in Heaven?” Sol thinks…
A man walks into a spooky store. Man: Wow, this shop really has everything! Shopkeeper: Yes, but I warn you… every item comes at a price. Man: Yes, I know how shops…
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying: “Help wanted. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be…
Two old guys, Walt and Ray, were sitting in the park talking, when the subject turned to getting older. Ray said, “Women have all the luck when it comes to getting older.”…
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and it immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at…
Tom Smith was a new recruit in the British Army. On his first day, an officer came up to him and said, “What is your name?” “Tom Smith,” he replied. The officer…