A blonde was swerving all over the road, driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, “Miss, why are you…
Mam, You Were Speeding
“Do you realize you were speeding?” the officer asks the old woman after pulling her over. “Yes, officer,” she replies, embarrassed, “but I’ve got a very good excuse.” “What’s that?” he asks….
You See Those 2 Old Men?
Two men are sitting in a bar drinking. The first man notices two old men across the bar. He points at them and says to his friend, “That’s us in about ten…
Another Day in Mental Hospital
A patient in a mental hospital would spend his entire day with his ear pressed up against a wall. The doctor would watch this man, day after day, sit against the wall….
Tom, Did You Know That…
Tom and Clark are standing on the roof of their building drinking a few beers on their break when Clark says, “Hey Tom, did you know that if you jump off this…
Lawyer’s New Expensive Car
A very successful lawyer buys a new Ferrari. He parks in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he gets out, a truck passes too close…
You Are a Real Jerk
A client receives his bill from his lawyer in the mail. He’s livid at the amount and calls the lawyer to berate him for charging such ridiculous fees. The lawyer listens for…
Is This It?
A construction worker accidentally cuts off one of his ears with an electric saw. He calls out to a guy walking on the street below, “Hey, do you see my ear down…
Who Was That Guy?
A church puts an ad in the newspaper for a person to ring the bell in the belfry on Sunday mornings. No one applies for the position except for a young man…
Good News and Bad News For You
A struggling artist stops by the studio where his recent work is hanging for sale. The owner tells him he has good news and bad news. “The good news is that a…
Some Health Questions
A man goes to a doctor for his yearly routine physical. The nurse starts with the basic health questions. “How much do you weigh?” she asks. “Oh, about 165 pounds,” he says….
Listen To My Advice
A woman accompanies her husband to a doctor’s visit. After the checkup, the doctor calls only her into his office. “The outlook isn’t good,” he tells her. “Your husband is under a…