A woman accompanies her husband to a doctor’s visit. After the checkup, the doctor calls only her into his office. “The outlook isn’t good,” he tells her.

“Your husband is under a tremendous amount of stress. If you don’t do exactly what I tell you, he may not survive to see the end of the month. Each morning, make him a nice healthy breakfast. Do the same for lunch and dinner. Always be in a pleasant mood around him and keep his spirits up. Don’t burden him with chores or stress him with the details of your day. At night, if he’s up for it, agree to any request for sexual pleasure. If you do all those things, he’ll live a long life.” On the way home, the husband asks his wife what the doctor said to her in the closed-door meeting.

She replies, “You’re going to die.”