During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level.

I described a typical day: “Yesterday afternoon, I took a five-hour walk about seven miles along some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles.”

I continued, “I got sand in my shoes and in my eyes. I almost stepped on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills, and I even took a few ‘leaks’ behind some trees. The mental stress of it all left me so shattered, I drank eight beers when I was finished.”

Inspired by the story, the doctor exclaimed, “You must be one hell of an outdoorsman!”

“No,” I replied, “I’m just a bad golfer.”