Jokes

Noo, Don’t Do It!

One day a blonde came home from work early and when she walked into her house, she saw her husband in bed with another woman. She pulls her gun out of her…

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And No Plot Whatsoever!

A blonde walked in a library and went to the librarian, pulls out a thick book and started screaming at her. She yells, “THIS BOOK IS HORRIBLE! THERE ARE TOO MANY CHARACTERS…

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It’s The Plumber

A lady was expecting the plumber. He was scheduled to come at 10 A.M. Ten o’clock came and went with no plumber. She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do…

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The Escaping Kangaroo

A kangaroo keeps escaping his enclosure at the zoo. In an effort to keep him inside at night, the zookeepers construct a 10-foot fence around his habitat. The next morning, they find…

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Thank God & Amen

A man on vacation in the Caribbean decides to go horseback riding. He visits a local farm that rents horses to ride around the countryside. The owner of the horse, a very…

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Changing Calendars

TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to…

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Not as Stupid as The Other Two

There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself,…

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3 Brave Cowboys

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire out on the lonesome prairie. They are chewing tobacco and swapping tales of bravado for which cowboys are famous. The first cowboy says, “I reckon…

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Okay, Let’s Do It!

A man buys a dog from a pet shop and teaches it to recite the Lord’s Prayer, word-for-word, until the dog has it down perfect. He takes the dog to the pub…

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A Very Wise Drunk Man

A guy is out on the lash with the lads and gets wildly drunk. By the time he staggers home he is covered in vomit and, sure enough, his wife is waiting…

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Why Driving Recklessly?

A blonde was swerving all over the road, driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, “Miss, why are you…

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Mam, You Were Speeding

“Do you realize you were speeding?” the officer asks the old woman after pulling her over. “Yes, officer,” she replies, embarrassed, “but I’ve got a very good excuse.” “What’s that?” he asks….

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