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Not as Stupid as The Other Two

There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself,…

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3 Brave Cowboys

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire out on the lonesome prairie. They are chewing tobacco and swapping tales of bravado for which cowboys are famous. The first cowboy says, “I reckon…

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Okay, Let’s Do It!

A man buys a dog from a pet shop and teaches it to recite the Lord’s Prayer, word-for-word, until the dog has it down perfect. He takes the dog to the pub…

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A Very Wise Drunk Man

A guy is out on the lash with the lads and gets wildly drunk. By the time he staggers home he is covered in vomit and, sure enough, his wife is waiting…

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Why Driving Recklessly?

A blonde was swerving all over the road, driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop. The cop walked up to her window and asked, “Miss, why are you…

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Mam, You Were Speeding

“Do you realize you were speeding?” the officer asks the old woman after pulling her over. “Yes, officer,” she replies, embarrassed, “but I’ve got a very good excuse.” “What’s that?” he asks….

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You See Those 2 Old Men?

Two men are sitting in a bar drinking. The first man notices two old men across the bar. He points at them and says to his friend, “That’s us in about ten…

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Another Day in Mental Hospital

A patient in a mental hospital would spend his entire day with his ear pressed up against a wall. The doctor would watch this man, day after day, sit against the wall….

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Tom, Did You Know That…

Tom and Clark are standing on the roof of their building drinking a few beers on their break when Clark says, “Hey Tom, did you know that if you jump off this…

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Lawyer’s New Expensive Car

A very successful lawyer buys a new Ferrari. He parks in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he gets out, a truck passes too close…

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You Are a Real Jerk

A client receives his bill from his lawyer in the mail. He’s livid at the amount and calls the lawyer to berate him for charging such ridiculous fees. The lawyer listens for…

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Is This It?

A construction worker accidentally cuts off one of his ears with an electric saw. He calls out to a guy walking on the street below, “Hey, do you see my ear down…

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