A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to…
A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital. The doctor looked her over and told them it would be a rather difficult delivery. He offered to let the couple try an…
There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast. On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he…
After thirty-five years of marriage, Bernie is lying on his deathbed and with a tear in his eye he says “Annabel before I die I have to tell you something”. She replies…
One evening this drunk walks into a bar, sits down, and happens to notice a 12″ tall man standing on the bar. Astonished, the man asks the guy next to him; “What…
This kid is starting his first day of school. He walks down to the bus stop and waits for the bus to take him to school. The bus eventually drives up and…
Burford is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a sh*t real bad. The toilet in his room isn’t working, so he bolts down to use the lobby…
The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her dog. The weary traveler asked, “Ma’am,…
This lady is having a bed wetting problem, so she decides to go to the doctor. The doctor tells her to go and get undressed and wait for him in the other…
A farmer hires a college student one summer to help around the farm. At the end of the summer the farmer says, “Son, since you have done such a fine job here…
A man walks up to the bar, and speaks to the bartender. “I bet you $500 that I can piss in this cup from across the room.” The bartender looks at the…
This man is walking down the road and hears someone crying. He stops and looks over the fence and sees a woman without any arms or legs crying beside a pool. He…